by K.M. Zahrt
The following 10 real treasures were recently posted online as lost in Michigan. Keep an eye out for them on your Easter Egg Hunt this weekend. You might just find a pot of gold or…
1. A Bike Backrest with Sentimental Value
Dude just got kicked out of his house. Now, he lost his drawers. Have mercy!
2. A Padded Briefcase
“I’m hoping to find it before the cops do.”
3. A Couch, Two “Earings,” and Possibly the Mob
“They were such nice boys. I know they’ll return them.”
4. A New Identity
I hope his name is something dreamy, like Don Draper!
“I took my medical — um — prescription, then I went to BP just for Funyuns, then I went to T-Bell. That’s all I know.”
6. A Pot of Gold
First, how large is large to you? Second, where did you say you left it?
7. A Drone with Surveillance Footage
8. Lucky Charms
“Please help! We can’t afford another scandal.” -Sincerely, [CLASSIFIED]
“Whoever owns the blue tractor, please don’t move it until my bracelet is found. You’ll compromise the search zone.”
9. An iPad
Be sure to read the fine print. I think he’s actually offering 100 $ symbols as the reward. Here’s five in advance: $$$$$.
Note: I tried to exclude animals from this list for animal-tarian reasons, but I had to share this next one.
10. A Magical Feline Genius in Black Tie
“He likes to eat Pop-Tarts, poop rainbows, and take long walks on the beach.
BONUS! Three Real Treasures in Wisconsin
1. A Sailboat
“Or, if you find this one, send it over. This one will do.”
2. A Troubled Husband with a Wife Set to Return from a Business Trip
You’ll probably be able to get more than $50 out of this guy.
3. A Sharp Knife
“The ‘Gangs of New York’ re-enactment went horribly wrong.”
Happy egg hunting!